Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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