you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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