Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
