So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
