Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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