9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
