Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
