I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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