They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You ruined the universe
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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