dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
