hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
