i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
