Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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