I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
