I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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