he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
