put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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