You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
