wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You are a genius and a whore.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
