i think i have herpe
just one?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
