hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
