he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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