I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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