Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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