apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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