He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
