Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
