The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
