have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
