smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
