we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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