you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
