I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do vagina's smell?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
