My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
