I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
