It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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