At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
