My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
