STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
