Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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