Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
