How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
now i know why i became what i already was.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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