So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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