Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
