Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
