I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
