she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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