I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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