My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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