So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
