shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
