This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
