What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
