Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
